The Cramp Twins
The story of two 10-year old twins who aren’t at all alike. Their differences would seem to be based on their appearance, but it’s complicated.
S01:E01 - Fashion Passion/Small Wonder
When Wayne shows up for his class photo dressed in outlandishly mismatched clothes and wearing underpants on his elbow, the charismatic new school photographer declares him a fashion original. Suddenly all the other kids want to be just like Wayne, even to the point of carrying around and wearing junk from Dirty Joe's scrap yard. Wayne soon tires of all the slavish imitation and of having to compete with everyone for his junk supply. Lucien suggests that the only solution is to fake his own death, but Wayne manages to dethrone himself as a fashion icon by appearing at school decked out in a pink frock a la Wendy Winkle.
S01:E02 - Date Dupe/ Agent X
Patsy McCloud, the new girl in school, seems to have taken a shine to Lucien. When she invites him to come over to her house he's overjoyed--a real date! But he quickly tumbles from exhilaration into a downward spiral of self-consciousness and self-doubt. Encouraged by his mother and undermined at every turn by Wayne, Lucien launches into an all-night frenzy of compulsive grooming and obsessive rehearsal of his every move. By the time his big 'date' rolls around he's an over-scrubbed, sleep-deprived, petrified zombie. And when he finally gets to Patsy's house he discovers that she never intended his visit to be a date in the first place. She only wanted him to come over to help take care of her pet hamster and on that score Wayne has beaten him to the punch.
S01:E03 - Mr. Winkle's Monkey/ Wicked Wendy
On their annual class trip to the Haz Chem Soap Factory, Lucien and Mari Phelps discover a mangy monkey on the premises. Assuming the hapless animal to be the victim of cruel product testing experiments, Lucien decides he must 'liberate' it and take it home with him. The other Cramps are at first appalled with the new addition to their family. The monkey, which Lucien names 'Thomas Edison,' eats cleaning products, belches bubbles and slaps people at random. But gradually Mr. Cramp, Mrs. Cramp and even Wayne become so fond of the creature that Lucien can't get any quality time with it to rehabilitate it. Not that it needs any rehabilitation anyway. It turns out that 'Thomas Edison' is really named 'Bubbles' and that, far from having been mistreated, he's been living like a king at Haz Chem as the special pet and confidante of Mr. Winkle. Inevitably, The Grand Bubba arrives to reclaim his simian pal, reminding the crestfallen Cramps that 'being Boss is nine tenths of the law.'
S01:E04 - Swamp Fever/Kung Foolish
When Miss Hissy tells her class that the Soap City Council is going to get rid of the swamp, Lucien and Mari try to find a way to save it. With Tony's help they start a campaign to protect the home of the rare Hairy Marsh Snail, but Wendy Winkle's plan to build an amusement park proves much more popular. Wayne is backing it all the way in the hope of being the one to actually blow up the swamp. With Mr. Winkle controlling the city council, the swamp seems doomed, until Mr. Parsons threatens to reveal Mr. Winkle's secret Swamp Person identity and Tony disguises himself as the last and cutest Hairy Marsh Snail ever.
S01:E05 - Silence Please/ Fur Fungus
LUCIEN sets about creating healthful 'Quiet Zones' throughout the Cramp house, inspiring WAYNE to retaliate with some aggressive domestic re-zoning of his own. Their slow-motion civil war escalates until the entire house is rigged with the twins' booby-traps--just in time for the monthly meeting of MRS. CRAMP's women's Cleaning Support Group. When all the traps spring at once, it looks as if Mrs. Cramp's social status will be demolished, but it turns out that the compulsively neat ladies are delighted with the chance to test their cleaning mettle against a real mess.
S01:E06 - Home on the Range/Holesome
It's the day of the annual The Haz Chem Country and Western Club barbecue, the biggest event on the Soap City social calendar. MRS. CRAMP sees the occasion as an opportunity to show off WAYNE and LUCIEN in their brilliantly clean matching white cowboy outfits. MR. CRAMP hopes to impress Haz Chem president WALTER WINKLE and perhaps advance his club rank from the lowly Farmhand Grade Three. But for Wayne and Lucien, the barbecue is just another battlefield on which to carry on their endless sibling war. When Lucien and TONY PARSONS load up Wayne's underpants with vicious fleas and maneuver him into a disastrous squaredance with Mr. Winkle's crybaby daughter WENDY, 'a fun day is had by all.'
S01:E07 - Sick Daze /Picket Picket
Strange things are happening in Soap City. Cars are crashing left and right, Wayne is filling his room with wreckage, Mari Phelps is turning into a fashion-mad mall rat, and everyone in town is rushing to buy new eyeglasses. When Lucien sets out to get to the bottom of it he quickly discovers that the cars are crashing because the pickets in the fence along the street are so close together that drivers going past them are being strobed into blindness. But who could be behind such a diabolical plot? Could it be Dirty Joe, whose scrapyard business is burgeoning with the influx of all the wrecked vehicles? Or Mari's father, the optometrist, who's doing a land office business in new spectacles? Or maybe even Tony Parsons' family, who are profiting from the demand for special Swamp remedies for the injuries everyone is sustaining in the crashes? The truth will turn out to be more than Lucien can bear.
S01:E08 - Nostalgia Nasty/ Haircut Horros
Mrs. Cramp decides the boys need haircuts, but Wayne doesn't want a haircut, preferring to look like a favorite wrestler. When Mrs. Cramp meets the new barber, she decides he is too dirty to cut the boys' hair. Wayne is delighted. Mrs. Cramp spreads the word among the Executive Moms, while Wayne develops his wrestling image and encourages Lucien to do so too. Mrs. Cramp threatens to cut their hair herself, but then the new barber comes back to Mrs. Cramp begging for help. She cleans up his shop using a homemade barbercide that inadvertently makes the boys' hair spiky and green. Wayne is delighted. Mrs. Cramp is appalled. The barbershop closes and is replaced by a bakery.
S01:E09 - Big Baby/ Ad Bad
The Cramp family gain an unexpected houseguest: the twin's five year old cousin BABY, who looks and acts like a baby, despite her advanced years. LUCIEN and WAYNE quickly discover that Baby is their arch-nemesis in life because whenever they turn their backs she takes immense joy in leaping upon them and riding them like a pony. The Twins attempt various ways to get rid of their torment but don't succeed until Baby finds a particularly appetizing pair of backs, those of MR. and MRS. WINKLE.
S01:E10 - Work Out/ Senselessness
The Cramp Twins have been given a school project to learn about work by finding a job they can help with. Mr. Cramp wants his sons to come soap selling with him, but they already have other plans. But when Lucien's dream job fails to materialise, he ends up going soap selling after all. Unfortunately he becomes concerned about the side-effects of Mr. Cramp's products and ends up ruining his sales. Then Mrs. Cramp bans Wayne from the dump and he goes out soap selling too. Only Wayne turns out to be an excellent salesman due to his impressive ability to tell an unblinking lie.
S01:E11 - Twin Studies/Birthday Blues
When twin psychologist, Miss Monkfish, comes to Soap City to prove her theory that all twins are alike, Mr. Winkle volunteers the Cramps. Miss Monkfish seems blind to the twins obvious differences, so Lucien sets out to prove her theory wrong. Unfortunately Miss Monkfish is not above altering the evidence to prove her own theory right and to make matters worse the more frustrated Lucien becomes, the more he appears to behave like Wayne. Finally Wayne gets revenge for both of them
S01:E12 - Grandma's Piano/ Guide Games
Mrs. Cramp's mother comes for a visit, bringing a baby grand piano with which she hopes to find out whether there's an ounce of talent or culture in her grandchildren. The old lady is thoroughly unpleasant to everyone, complains about everything and ignores Mrs. Cramp, who wants desperately to please her. She mistakes Tony Parsons for her son-in-law, causing Mrs. Cramp to introduce her husband as the piano teacher when he arrives home for dinner. In the end, Lucien's stilted rendition of Brahms' Lullaby almost drives Grandma out of the house, but when Wayne throws Tony into the piano and begins banging away at it, it's music to Grandma's ears. To everyone's horror, she decides to extend her visit indefinitely.
S01:E13 - Prize Swallow/ Ice Scream
Wayne decides switch brands of breakfast cereal to get the free bird call Lucien has been waiting for: The Crested Marsh Swallow. He teases Lucien with it mercilessly, even using an amp and loudspeaker to blast the bird call at him and ends up attracting a huge flock of the creatures to the house. The birds refuse to leave in spite of Mr. Cramp's best efforts, but when Mr. Winkle offers money to catch them Mr. Cramp and Wayne change tactics. It seems the birds are a delicacy of swamp people cuisine. Lucien and Tony take the amp and speakers to the swamp in a last ditch attempt to attract the birds back and save them from Mr. Winkle's stomach.
S01:E14 - Wolfman Wayne/ Shed Dead
When Lucien and Tony decide to find out whether additives in dog biscuits make dogs hyperactive, they don't want to test them on dogs which would be animal testing. So they test them on Wayne, but they tell him it's an experiment to see if he'll turn into a wolfman. Wayne thinks this is very cool indeed and so eats as many dog biscuits as he can. He does indeed become very hyperactive, but to make matters worse he believes he really is becoming a wolfman. Wayne stays up all night running around and is discovered in the morning worrying Mrs. Winkle's poodles.
S01:E15 - Spys Pies/ No Means Yes
Mari Phelps refuses to take part in her family's creepy street-corner evangelism for family togetherness. But when the Phelpses turn to Lucien to join their campaign, he finds himself strangely unable to say no. By the time he discovers that they want him to play the part of their daughter that evening at the school's Parents-Teacher Night, it's too late to back out. Wayne, meanwhile, concerned that Miss Hissy is about to give his parents a bad report, manages to send her on a wild goose chase (well, rat chase actually) in the school basement. As Lucien suffers the punishment of appearing before the entire town decked out in a dress and full make-up, Miss Hissy slowly makes her way through the school's ventilation ducts and emerges to mete out a different kind of punishment for Wayne.
S01:E16 - Mis Kissy/ Friend Fight
When Lucien laughs at Tony for believing in the newt man, Tony calls Lucien a 'soap sucker' and soon they are having an argument from which neither one wants to back down. When Tony comes to apologise the whole argument starts up again. Lucien says Tony's not his friend anymore. Wayne delights in torturing Lucien by letting Tony be his friend instead. But Wendy is not too happy with this arrangement either. She sets out to get Lucien and find a way of getting the little swamp person (Tony) away from her beloved Wayne again.
S01:E17 - Walk Like a Man/ Bouncy Bob
Tired of Wayne's juvenile behaviour, Lucien creeps into his room in the middle of the night, glues bushy tufts of hair under his arms and paints stubble on him. The next morning he convinces Wayne that he has become a man - he must just be an early developer. Wayne is initially horrified but later thrilled and plunges into his new found manhood with macho relish. Mr. Cramp takes Wayne off to buy him bigger underwear and later invites him into the shed. Among the more delighted of his peers is Wendy Winkle who falls more deeply in love than ever with this man amongst boys. Unfortunately for Lucien he discovers that the grown up Wayne is even more unpleasant than the childish version. Lucien needs to find a way to dstroy the monster he has created and Wayne, after a visit to Chateau Winkle discovers the true horrors of manhood.
S01:E18 - Room Rage/ Dirty Monkey
When a washer falls off of a piece of junk Wayne's sneaking into the house, Mrs. Cramp goes on a rampage, demanding a room inspection for everyone and expecting everything to be neat and tidy. This couldn't come at a worse time for Lucien who is in the middle of transferring worms and earth from his secret, but overcrowded worm farm. Even Mr. Cramp has to have his shed inspected. This means hiding the picture of Rodeo Rita that makes Mrs. Cramp jealous. He hides it in Lucien's room and they both nearly get into trouble, while Wayne tries to evade Mrs. Cramp's fury by getting Dirty Joe to bring his bucket loader to the house and loading all the junk from his room into that. It nearly works too.
S01:E19 - Hotel Hysteria/ Alien Glow
When Mrs. Cramp decides to extend her kitchen to accomodate a new autoclave for sterilising the dishes, Wayne suggests they save money by doing it themselves. With Mr. Cramp's consent and encouragement, Wayne knocks down the kitchen wall and almost collapses the whole house. The family ends up having to survive together in a cramped hotel bedroom until the works are done. This is not easy. Lucien then realises he's forgotten to bring his worms and has to go back to the house to rescue them. Wayne follows him and blackmails him into colluding in a candybar fraud.
S01:E20 - Chameleon Chaos/ Weedkiller
When Lucien finds an injured chameleon in the swamp he brings it home to look after. Wayne is terrified of the creature, but tries to hold it to prove he isn't. The chameleon pees on Wayne's hand and Wayne throws it back into the terrarium. The chameleon roars at Wayne angrilly. The next day the chameleon disappears, and Lucien thinks it's escaped. It hasn't, but Wayne is terrified that the chameleon is out for revenge. Lucien delights in frightening his brother until Mrs. Cramp realises the truth and insists that he get rid of the creature once and for all.
S01:E21 - The Great Luciani/ Wendy Boy
Wayne gets a magic set in the hope of making people of his choice disappear. He is very disappointed when it doesn't work. Mr. and Mrs. Cramp send Lucien to help him read the instructions and Wayne convinces Lucien to do a magic show and make him disappear. Lucien agrees, but when Wayne disappears he can't get him back. Mr. and Mrs. Cramp are furious with Lucien and he's in trouble at school too. Lucien holds out for a logical solution and sets out for the dump to find Wayne and bring him home.
S01:E22 - Food Fight /Mari Mania
When Wayne wins a cross country race that takes Lucien all day to complete, Lucien becomes curious about Wayne's new high in additives cereal. Wayne won't let him taste so Lucien buys his own box, swaps it for the contents of his usual Nature Bits cereal and secretly begins eating it. Soon Lucien is transformed into pro-active, busy, over-confident new Lucien, attracting a gaggle of little girl admirers. But when he whips them up into a fury campaigning against his mother in her own home, even Mari thinks he's gone too far! She reveals Lucien's cereal secret to his mother, who soon removes the added ingredient returning her son to his normal condition.
S01:E23 - Great Bowl Fear/ Mud Crush
Wayne has a new hobby - fishing in the toilet. Prissy Lucien, desperate to avail himself of the facilities and uncomfortable with 'going' anywhere but home, tries various ruses to get Wayne out. When he tries to scare Wayne that he might catch a sewer crocodile, Wayne simply feeds out more line. However when Lucien and Tony Parsons discover Wayne's lure floating in the swamp, they concoct a scheme to frighten Wayne out of the toilet. And Wayne finally gets a catch that scares him witless...
S01:E24 - Petrified Poodles/ Harp Wars
Wendy arranges for Wayne to come in and look after the animals when the Winkles are on holiday, little realising that all he wants to do is watch the BIG TV. After a few days Lucien gets worried and goes to check on the animals for himself. He finds them in distress, but too nervous for him to approach. With Tony's help however he manages to feed and look after them all and even get the poodles out of the house and into the swamp, where they romp and wag their tails for the first time ever. On their return they discover the Winkle's have returned home and have to quickly wash the muddy dogs before Mrs. Winkle sees them. They manage this, but Wayne gets in trouble when Mrs. Winkle sees her poodles have been towel dried.
S01:E25 - The Bad Seed/ Rodeo Rita
Tony puts the idea into Lucien's head that perhaps he's adopted. This seems to make perfect sense and Lucien decides to find out. He goes to the Town Hall and with the help of Clerk John, sets about looking up the family details. There in a huge ledger are the whys and wherefores of every Cramp that has ever lived in Soap City... except one. A page has been torn out. Who is the mysterious missing Cramp? Mr. Parsons tells a fascinated Lucien the story of the Bad Seed....an infamous Cramp from generations back who terrorised Soap City with his outlaw antics. Lucien tells his family. Mr. and Mrs. Cramp don't want to know about rotten apples in their ancestral barrel, but Wayne is absolutely thrilled. This guy sounds just like him. Wayne sees himself as the new and improved bad seed!! Wayne sets about living up to his predestined fate. He was born to be bad. He just can't help himself. Wayne tries to be an outlaw that his ancestor would have been proud of. Lucien must try and stop Wayne's reign of terror while uncovering the truth behind the Bad Seed. When he finally does, thanks to some ingenious detective work, he is in for a major shock!!
S01:E26 - Worm Funeral/ One Sock Wonder
Lucien is distraught when his oldest worm dies suddenly. Strangely moved by his brother's grief and fascinated with the dead worm, Wayne agrees to take care of 'the arrangements'. Lucien is grateful for the trouble Wayne has taken. Wayne has discovered a genuine natural talent and is enjoying himself so much that he is soon looking for other 'subjects' on which to practice his new hobby. One by one, Lucien's meticulously assembled collection of scientifically correct teddies of endangered species go missing. Wayne is really starting to express himself. Lucien's teddies are now truly endangered. He must find a way to divert his brother's interest from this morbid practice before his collection is decimated...
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