The Abbott and Costello Show

While attempting to free it from a tight space, the boys damage Mrs. Bronson's car. To appease her -- and get Bud and Lou to work off their back rent -- Fields has the boys wallpaper her apartment. Later, they become waiters at a rowdy seafood joint and get into a brawl.

Lou's unemployed, opera singing Uncle Bozzo arrives from Italy and wreaks havoc with his booming voice. After a run in with Mike the Cop, the boys and Bozzo are arrested. While in jail, a fellow prisoner recruits them to assist in his escape.

Mrs. Olga Van Goo, a wealthy society woman, hires Bud and Lou to impersonate the Duke of Gluten and the Earl of Waldo at her formal reception. But a series of etiquette miscues leads to a food-flinging finale.

Mr. Fields wants security for the back rent the boys' owe him, so he and Bud take out a life insurance policy on Lou that names the landlord as beneficiary. Wary of Fields' and Bud's motives, Lou is too nervous to pass the physical. Bud takes him on a hunting trip to relax, but Lou is convinced that Bud is trying to kill him for the payoff.

The boys are working as pest exterminators. While on a job at a psychiatrist's office, they misunderstand a phone call from a Mrs. Featherton, who asks them to come to her house to "take care of her aunts" who are "out of control."

Heavyweight prizefighter Killer King moves into the rooming house. Killer is insanely jealous over his knockout wife, Dixie, and becomes convinced that Lou is fooling around with her behind his back. When Costello accidentally knocks out Killer's sparring partner, Bud volunteers Lou to take his place.

Bud and Lou accidentally purchase a crate of roller skates at an auction. Unbeknownst to them, the skates have stolen diamonds hidden inside the wheels, and the smugglers behind the scam move into their rooming house to recover the jewels.

Lou is smitten by a cute new neighbor. Hearing her cries for help, Lou bursts into her apartment and into a rehearsal for a Civil War melodrama. He is so magnificent in his rescue effort that she lands him a role in the play.

While working in a garden supply store, Bud and Lou learn that a civic group is offering a cash prize for the best backyard garden. The boys decide to enter the competition, but provoke a feud with a neighbor who has also entered the contest.

While trying to repair Mr. Fields' television set, Lou answers a phone call from the "Money to Burn" quiz show and correctly answers the $1,000 question. The prize money will be delivered that night, so Bud and Lou scramble to keep Fields out of his apartment.

Lou plans to marry Edna, his lonely-hearts penpal, but Bud wants to break up the romance. He convinces Lou that he has amnesia and has a friend pose as Edna to make his life miserable.

Somehow, the boys have landed jobs as efficiency experts. They are assigned to restrain their client's spoiled daughters from spending money. The young women, however, trick the boys into buying them expensive dresses and taking them to a casino, where they end up in a brawl.

Lou wins an Edam automobile from Jeepers Creepers Canned Baby Food, but Bud sells it and uses the cash for a trip to Flint, Michigan to buy another car. On their trip they encounter Mike the Cop's twin brother, some hoboes, and an irate sheriff.

The boys get a letter from Lou's grandfather, who plans to visit and give Lou $10,000 if he is married. After several failed attempts to meet women, Lou reconnects with his former girlfriend, Agnes, who has just broken up with a jealous wrestler, Bone-Bender Brodsky.

After Fields locks the boys out of their apartment, Bud hatches a plan to convince the greedy landlord that Lou is the sole heir to the fortune of his rich Uncle Ruppert. To pull off the scheme, Bud disguises Lou as his uncle, but Mike the Cop starts to believe that Ruppert has been bumped off by the boys.

After Lou receives his diploma and private eye gear from the Watchdog Correspondence School, he and Bud help a young girl locate $50,000 in bonds hidden in a spooky mansion that belonged to her eccentric uncle. But her cousin, who was disowned, tries to scare them off.

The IRS accidentally sends Lou a refund for $1 million. After he cashes the check, he is followed home by crooks. Meanwhile, Mr. Fields begins to suspect that Bud and Lou are counterfeiters.

Bud and Lou are hired as armed guards and unwittingly assist in a bank robbery. They pay rent with their cut of the money, and then attempt to recover the stolen cash from Mr. Fields' safe.

When Mr. Fields is threatened with a breach of promise lawsuit, the boys come to his aid. With Bud acting as his chauffer, Lou poses as a Texas oil tycoon in an attempt to court and discredit the gold digger.

A beautiful next-door neighbor wants to rid herself of her mobster boyfriend so she can marry another man. She hatches a plan to make the gangster think that Lou is her lover so that he will kill Lou and go to jail.

With the aid of Bud and Mr. Fields, Lou builds a prefabricated house for his fiancé, Sally. But the new construction is sabotaged by Sally's former boyfriend, and when her parents arrive to inspect the place, they are nearly killed.

Bud volunteers Lou as a human guinea pig in a zany experiment performed by a mad scientist, Dr. Bluzak. Lou thinks he's indestructible until a pompous French fencing master challenges him to a duel.

Mr. Fields recruits Bud and Lou to judge the "Miss Mud Turtle" beauty pageant for his lodge, and expects the boys to pick his niece as the winner. But then a tough thug pressures them to crown his girlfriend.

After a fruitless day trying to sell "No Peddlers Allowed" signs, two men approach Bud and Lou. They offer the boys $200 to take two sisters out on a date and then switch places with the men. But when the boys arrive at the girls' home, their father has them install a new TV antenna on his roof.

After helping Mrs. Bronson stage an amateur show, Bud is exhausted and asks Lou to give him a relaxing rubdown by following the instructions of a radio masseuse. But when the broadcast switches over to a do-it-yourself commercial for re-painting a car, the oblivious Lou follows those directions.