Lovespring International

Lydia steals a client from Burke and starts to date him until something terrible happens that tears one of them apart; Tiffany thinks she can help when a client asks if Lovespring can find a match for her dog. Guest star: Eric McCormack

Lydia and Victoria go undercover to catch a lying client who’s trying to avoid paying a “relationship bonus.” Burke finds himself distracted by an openly gay male client who was a high school friend. Tiffany and Alex continue to flirt and he asks her out on a date.

Worried that her married boyfriend will try and kill her after she threatens to tell his wife about their 20-year-long affair, Lydia stays up all night. Steve comes to her rescue with a gun and shares memories from the Kuwait war. Burke attempts to manage Alex’s career as a documentary filmmaker. Tiffany’s recent “vow of silence” is proving not compatible with her job as receptionist.

The staff is challenged with finding a date for Victor (Hayes), a man who was forced to eat his wife when they were stranded after crashing their plane into a snowy mountain. Lydia conceives what she thinks is a dream plan but ends up driving her married boyfriend and his wife away for a romantic weekend. A naked woman who lives across from Steve’s office is flirting with him.

Lovespring’s yearly mixer for hard-to-place clients gets underway. The staff has their assignments and must find everyone compatible dates so they renew their memberships. Tiffany oversees the libations and handles the entertainment. Everything is going disastrously until Tiffany spikes the punch, when the mood suddenly changes.

Victoria throws the office for a loop when she decides to have her portrait painted in the nude. Complicating matters is that the artist, Cal, is the only man who ever dumped Tiffany. His presence and Tiffany's misguided suspicions of a romantic tryst between he and Victoria send her into a downward spiral which causes drama for everyone in the office. Burke and Lydia counsel a couple they put together at the "Losers Lunch." Unfortunately, the plan backfires when the clients fall for Burke and Lydia respectively.

A massage therapist named Drake (McDonald) rents an office at Lovespring. Alex suspects and reveals that the newcomer is a "de-muler" who extracts smuggled drugs from his clients' body cavities. Lydia and Burke, meanwhile, have been forced to share an office because of Drake's "business," which causes their usual feuding to escalate due to the close quarters.

With the impending trial for a foot massage "incident" hanging over his head, Steve must control his urges when a new client with great feet seeks his help. Lydia discovers the client is a mole from the psychiatry board testing Steve's self control. Alex, who has always thought Whoopi Goldberg stole his idea for "Ghost," hears that "Ghost 2" is filming and goes to the set to confront her. Finally, Burke tries to help Wally, the mad poet, be less off-putting with his intense verse that scares women away.

Lovespring's newest client, Joe (Meadows), represents a particular challenge. He spends much of his time donating sperm and fathering children, instead of dating women. Lydia valiantly tries to match him up, while Steve uses his "psychiatric" skills to figure out why Joe acts as he does. Burke practically comes unglued when Victoria gives him an odd looking statue for a birthday present and he tries to figure out what it means.

With interoffice fighting at a peak, Steve declares that everyone must swap jobs for the day. As everyone adjusts to their new responsibilities, Burke smuggles a homeless woman, Lucinda (Alanis Morrissett), into the office so she can paint his office in exchange for a meal. While Burke isn't paying attention, the staff unwittingly mistakes Lucinda for a client and starts giving her a makeover. When Burke realizes Lucinda has-been made over, he schemes to set her up with Randall (Michael Hitchcock), a hard-to-match client. Burke’s plan backfires when Randall is so taken with her carefree lifestyle, that he divests himself of his earnings and stiffs Lovespring on their commission.

Victoria covertly robs the Lovespring office in an effort to get some insurance money to reverse her eroding finances. Complicating matters is the arrival of a psychic client, who is able to read people's energy and knows that Victoria is hiding something. The two women engage in a battle of the minds. On the dating front, the psychic's talents has-been hindering her ability to date, leaving Alex and Steve scrambling to set her up. Lydia, meanwhile, is spying on her married boyfriend, Philip. She discovers she has an exact counterpart who has been having an affair with Phillip's wife, Bunny, who is spying on her, as well. They bond over their mutual obsessions.

A real estate fiasco is the final blow to Victoria's financial situation. Vulnerable, she is confronted by her long time nemesis Nancy (Camryn Manheim), who offers to buy Lovespring. Victoria has no other choice and reluctantly agrees. In the meantime, she scrambles to play the stock market (with Lydia's money) to try and stave off her nemesis, Nancy. Burke, meanwhile, is so elated from his and Figgy's recent miniature victory, that he accepts her on-camera proposal to renew their vows and start a family. His decision turns to dread, as the reality of his "situation" sinks in. The episode ends with Victoria secretly burning down the Lovespring building to get her hands on some insurance money and foil Nancy’s plan to take over.