The Abbott and Costello Show

With Bud and Lou eight weeks behind on their rent and facing eviction, Mr. Fields sends them to work in his brother's drug store. Unfortunately, Lou can't cut it as a soda jerk and ends up wrecking the place.

Lou has a terrible toothache, so Bud takes him to a dentist where Hillary works as a nurse. When the inept dentist fails to help, Bud schemes to get Lou arrested in order to receive free treatment in jail.

Lou shoots a hole in Mrs. Crumbcake's water bucket, and she sues him for 79 cents in damages. While in jail, he comes to blows with a crazed cellmate who becomes enraged at the mere mention of 'Niagara Falls.'

Bud and Lou plan to vacation at the Biltmore Hotel near Phoenix, and stock up at a sporting goods store. As Lou packs for their trip, Bud worries that Mr. Fields will rent their apartment out from under them while they're gone.

Lou throws himself a birthday party, but mistakenly serves ant paste instead antipasto and makes his guests ill. After Bud throws him out of their apartment, Lou consoles himself by ordering a giant cake at Mr. Bacciagalupe's bakery.

Lou receives word that his uncle has struck gold in Alaska, and the boys plan to join him. But they are delayed by a bank robbery, and then literally get stuck when Lou accidentally adds quick-drying cement to Bud's footbath. (Bud sports a mustache for the first time in this episode.)

Bud and Lou visit an employment agency run by Mr. Fields' brother, and Lou lands a job selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door. His demonstration skills are then put to the test at a rural farmhouse with disastrous results.

Bud and Lou join the Army National Guard. While at basic training, they have physicals, shoot dice in the barracks, and go through drill practice.

Lou tries his hand at selling aluminum cookware door-to-door. He volunteers to cook a duck dinner to demonstrate the cookware to the rooming house gang, but culinary mayhem ensues.

The boys help out at Hillary's charity bazaar. Lou spends all his cash at the kissing booth, and Bud raises money with the old shell game.

Bud and Lou accept Hillary's invitation to visit her at her uncle's 'B-Bar-Bop Ranch' near the Mexican border. There, they join a posse tracking down cattle rustlers, and Lou tangles with the leader of the gang in a western saloon.

Bud and Lou accompany Hillary to the haunted castle of her deceased uncle, Montague Brooke. According to his will, if she can spend the entire night there, she'll inherit the estate and all its treasures.

Lou is suffering from insomnia, so Bud takes him to see a psychiatrist, who prescribes 'Dr. Drowsy's Sleep-Inducing Record.' When that doesn't work, Bud checks Lou into a sanitarium for a good night's rest.

Bud and Lou visit a couple of restaurants in search of a satisfying meal, but encounter trouble with Mr. Bacciagalupe's meatballs, twin waitresses and a very fresh oyster.

Hillary's father is visiting from the country and wants her to marry a man with musical talent. Lou takes a disastrous class at Professor Melonhead's Singing School, and then Bud comes up with a way to make Costello look like a piano virtuoso.

Bud schemes to take a photograph of Mr. Fields beating up Lou so the boys can sue the landlord. After a councilman gets Lou out of trouble, Bud decides that Costello should run for public office. He delivers a speech in the park that causes a disruption when he gives away his clothes to needy young women.

Lou and Stinky agree to settle their differences in a wrestling match for the policemen's benefit. Before the match, Bud devises a way to get a free meal by borrowing Mike the Cop's uniform. Later, when Stinky falls ill, Lou must wrestle his kid brother, Ivan the Terrible.

Bud gets a job loafing in a bakery, and insists that Lou get a job. Lou runs into trouble delivering a box of hats to the Susquehanna Hat Company. Later, the boys pay an uproarious visit to the Fields' Employment Agency.

Lou takes Bingo home from the pet shop. Mike the Cop tells Lou that he must get a license for the chimp. At City Hall, Lou accidentally applies for a marriage license instead. Then, at the rooming house, the boys try to hide Bingo from Mr. Fields, who prohibits pets.

Mr. Fields posts new house rules just as the boys plan a birthday party for Hillary. While shopping for the party, Lou causes trouble at the supermarket. Later, Lou (at Bud's insistence) infuriates Fields by playing loud music during the party.

Bud and Lou become contestants on Lou's favorite TV game show,'Hold That Cuckoo,' where Costello wins a pack a bubblegum. Later, a drunken neighbor slips on the gum outside the rooming house and hauls Mr. Fields to court for negligence.

The boys win an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas and take Hillary along. But first they have to buy a used car from Friendly Fields' Used Car Lot. In Vegas, Lou loses all his money and plays a violent game of billiards.

The boys attempt to help a little old lady who has been dispossessed. They win $300 playing amusement park midway games, but the old lady uses the money for another purpose.

Mr. Bacciagalupe asks Lou to watch his ice cream stand. Later, while the boys sell newspapers, a philanthropist gives them $1,000. Assuming the money is fake, Bud tears up the bills. When he learns the money was real, Bud loses is mind and gets hauled off to the Retired Actor's Home, where he and Lou do "Who's on First?"

The boys plan to enroll in the police academy and get some pointers from Mike the Cop. Professor Melonhead tries to whip them into shape at the police gym before Lou hits the firing range and blows up the place with a grenade. Bud and Lou sign off with a serious message that kids should always trust the police.

Bingo is sick with a 172-degree temperature. Lou figures that the chimp misses his family, so the entire gang heads to the Belgian Congo to find Bingo's father. Lou tangles with a real gorilla, thinking it's Bud in a monkey suit.