Bad Education

Alfie turns up for the new term with a terrible haircut, thanks to his father, and learns that, for the school's annual swimming gala, there is to be a synchronized diving contest.

Alfie is shocked when Kevin Schwimer, an all-American Olympic medallist with a penchant for charitable deeds and marathons, arrives at the school.

Alfie does not take to Miss Pickwell's equally officious replacement Professor Celia Green, especially when she interrupts Fraser's Valentine's Day dating show.

Miss Gulliver is peeved when she is not allowed to give the drugs awareness lecture, the job going to the ultra-trendy India who actually takes drugs herself.

When Fraser gives the Nigerian finance minister all the school's funds, hoping for a sound return, the school faces bankruptcy.

Alfie is reluctant to direct the end of term Christmas play. However, when the class cannot decide on 'The Nutcracker' or 'Robocop' as their choice, Alfie writes 'Robocracker'.