Beetle Bailey

Sen. Trombone visits Camp Swampy and orders his favorite meal, duck. But the only duck in camp is Gen. Halftrack's pet. Australian General Billy Billibong arrives with Matilda, his pet kangaroo, to inspect Camp Swampy. Beetle is assigned to guard Matilda. Bunny's dad arrives at Camp Swampy's Visitors' Day in his World War I uniform...to show Beetle the doughboy style of fighting. The fortune cookie says "Beware of Beetles". And every place that Bailey goes disaster follows.

Snorkel's platoon is taught underwater demolition. They are to clear away all obstructions from the harbor so Admiral Bilgewater can bring his ship in for an inspection visit. Sarge picks Zero and Beetle to help him deliver the statue of General Ruff Rider to the big unvieling. But the ride to Swampy is a little too rough for the Ruff Rider. Beetle and Zero want to transfer to the maintenance corp. So they practice plumbing in Gen. Halftrack's home. Beetle and Zero set out to make a really big cake for Gen. Halftrack's birthday. But they put in too much yeast.

Beetle needs money for his two-week furlough. Cosmo suggests he enter a photo contest using Zero as a model in parachute shots. Beetle tries to elope with Bunny, but makes the mistake of letting Zero supply the getaway vehicle, Officer Clancy's horse. Beetle and his pals are assigned to train the ferocious new Army dogs. To gain their confidence, they don dog costumes and get into the cage with them. A company of WACS is stationed at Camp Swampy. Sarge tries his hardest to get them to leave.

Bunny's father drives them to a picnic, while Beetle makes the sandwiches in the back seat. A slice of bologna gets loose and files into a motorcycle cop. Somebody stole Camp Swampy's "top secret". The offender will be shot. Beetle buys a good-luck magnet to help him through Friday the 13th. The magnet practically wrecks Camp Swampy. A mistaken order from the Pentagon promotes the Sarge's dog, Otto, to the rank of lieutenant.

Big inspection coming, so Sarge wants all the men on their toes in the morning. But his nightmares keep them up all night. Beetle goes on a quiz show and wins a butler for a day. His man is busy serving him when Gen. Halftrack brings a visiting senator to the barracks. Sgt. Snorkel puts on so much weight, he forces himself to diet...and he insists everyone do the same. The men resort to night maneuvers to get dinner. Beetle and Zero wage war on a rabbit entrenched in the General's garden. They use bazookas and decoy carrots to out, maneuver the animal.

The Camp Swampy ceremonial breaks loose, rolls into Gen. Halftrack's office with Beetle and Cosmo hanging on. Gen. Halftracks has only a few days to train one of his platoons to parachute from 20 thousand feet. Beetle and his pals want to go to the big dance. But it's for officers only, and Sarge is determined it'll stay that way. They try to sneak through the barbed wire, then a mine field. Sgt. Snorkel is getting so fat, he blows up like a balloon and takes off.

Gen, Halftrack buys a new machine that makes the timid brave. Beetle tries it and starts giving the general orders. The Navy is set to take over Camp Swampy...if the swamp is deep enough for a ship. Beetle's platoon has to make sure it isn't. It's the big football game between the Camp Swampy Swamprats and the Military Police Giants. With the MP's leading 167 to 0 and one minute to go, Beetle volunteers to make at least one score for Swampy in exchange for a weekend pass. Beetle plays a big love scene with sultry actress, Za Za Vavoom...and wrecks the set.

Camp Swampy receives a new secret weapon, but it looks a lot like the new organ intended for the post choir. While cleaning up for the big inspection, Zero grabs the wrong can of paint, special "invisible paint". As he works, Camp Swampy disappears. It's Christmas Eve, and Sgt. Snorkel dreams of "The Night Before Christmas"...with Gen. Halftrack and Pvt. Bailey as the stars. Beetle enlists Cosmo's aid to win Bunny back from the local playboy.

Gen. Halftrack starts a post band to bolster morale. But none of the troops has musical talent. Cosmo will provide all the trimmings for Bunny's birthday, chauffeured car, dinner, a show...for $20. Somehow he winds up with a profit of over $19. Killer pulls a costume switch on Zero so he can get his date at the masquerade ball. But Beetle gives Zero a hand with some tricks of his own. Beetle takes an overdose of an experimental pep pill. His new found strength almost ruins Sgt. Snorkel and Camp Swampy.

During war games, Beetle and his buddies are sent to blow up the bridge on the River Y...leaving Zero at headquarters with the remote control of the dynamite. Beetle has to outdo Seymour Seymour, a well tattooed sailor who's got an eye for Bunny. Beetle is sole heir to a ten million dollar estate, and Cosmo shows him how to spend the money. Beetle, on KP, ruins Cookie's prize chile and breaks all the dishes. In desperation, Cookie tries to send him back to Sarge.

During the war games, the General entrusts a vital message to Pvts. Bailey and Zero. Beetle and his pals accidentally police up Sgt. Snorkel's beloved leechie nut tree...and have to "borrow" one from a Chinese restaurant before the Sarge finds out. Because none of the troops loves him, Sgt, Snorkel visits the psychologist. Even his bulldog, Otto, leaves the Sarge for a French poodle.

Van Bellingham Cartwright Forbes arrives at Camp Swampy to take on the best men for the new psychological test. Beetle and Snorkel are picked. To bring Camp Swampy to the attention of The Pentagon, Gen. Halftrack decides to put a man on the moon. And Beetle Bailey is chosen to volunteer. Beetle and Sarge win ten-day leaves. But Sgt. Snorkel can't bear being away from Camp Swampy.