Mystery Science Theater 3000: Shorts
Season 1 Episode 28 - Progress Island U.S.A
Modern Puerto Rico has a lot to offer.
Starring:Trace BeaulieuJoel HodgsonJim Mallon
Directed by:Jim Mallon
Season 1
S01:E01 - X Marks the Spot
Poor Joe gets grilled in a heavenly court in this WWII era film promoting road safety in New Jersery.
S01:E02 - Alphabet Antics
A charming rhyme for children that teaches them the alphabet, including many now politically-incorrect things, dangerous sequences, and some plagiarism.
S01:E03 - Speech: Using Your Voice
Educational short on public speaking teaching the importance of being heard, being understood, and being "pleasing".
S01:E04 - Aquatic Wizards
As much fun as anybody could hope to have watching waterskiing.
S01:E05 - Catching Trouble
Ross, an overly enthusiastic wildlife trapper torments snakes, wildcats and bear cubs to send off to the zoo.
S01:E06 - The Home Economics Story
Kay learns of value of a Home Economics degree in all aspects of a woman's life.
S01:E07 - Mr. B Natural
A sexually androgynous spirit of music teaches a young nerdish boy the benefit of a musical education and the right instruments.
S01:E08 - Posture Pals
School competition to see who has the best posture, and the lengths and tricks four kids go through to win those paper crowns.
S01:E09 - Appreciating Our Parents
A young boy learns how effective guilt can be when he starts to help out his family about the house.
S01:E10 - Johnny at the Fair
A young boy ditches his parents at the Canadian National Exhibition and sets off for adventure, meeting some celebrities along the way.
S01:E11 - Circus on Ice
This short features women in striped suits on leashes, simluated gunshots and lots of the color pink!
S01:E12 - Here Comes the Circus
Watch and enjoy a wide variety of circus acts - if you dare! The short is a look at the Clyde Beatty circus, featuring legendary clown Emmett Kelly.
S01:E13 - What to Do on a Date
Nick wants to take Kay out on a date, but isn't sure what they'd do. The short offers ideas like taffy pulls and scavenger sales. Nothing says romantic quite like a scavenger sale. Ultimately, all the kids have a wholesomely-celibate-vanilla-white-Eisenhower’s-America good time.
S01:E14 - The Truck Farmer
Nick wants to take Kay out on a date, but isn't sure what they'd do. The short offers ideas like taffy pulls and scavenger sales. Nothing says romantic quite like a scavenger sale. Ultimately, all the kids have a wholesomely-celibate-vanilla-white-Eisenhower’s-America good time.
S01:E15 - Body Care and Grooming
A short aimed at older teens/college students explaining why bathing and good personal hygiene are things to consider.
S01:E16 - Is This Love?
A girl goes against the old-fashioned love of her parents (and very old-looking roommate), abandons her parents, and runs away with a new hookup. The short ends asking whether their love will last long or not. (It won't.)
S01:E17 - Cheating
A young boy learns an important lesson about cheating.
S01:E18 - What About Juvenile Delinquincy?
A band of no-good punks beat a guy for driving too slow and steal his mechanical pencil, before arriving to pick up their missing member Jamie, the son of the man they've just beaten.
S01:E19 - Last Clear Chance
Friendly Patrolman Hal Jackson (Boyett) visits the Dixon family to instruct their youngest son, Alan (Bosworth), in the art of safe and courteous driving. He relates many grisly tales of various young drivers, his main advice being to pay attention, but Alan's older brother Frank Jr. (Bill Agee) isn't listening, and drives with his girlfriend Betty (Lynch) into the path of an oncoming train while turning around and waving at the car behind him.
S01:E20 - Design for Dreaming
In this musical short, a woman dreams of a mysterious masked man who takes her to see the future... as represented by the 1956 General Motors Motorama.
S01:E21 - Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm
Two siblings from the city visit their uncle's dairy farm for the summer. The children tour the farm's modern facilities, including milking machines. During a summer of hard work and healthy living, the boy gains enough strength to finally climb a rope. At the end of the summer, the city-dwellers return to the metropolis with their family, wiser and healthier for having spent their summer on their uncle's farm.
S01:E22 - A Day at the Fair
A farming family prepares for their yearly trip to the Indiana State Fair, both to show off their wares and suckle from the teat of the 3-H Club.
S01:E23 - Why Study the Industrial Arts?
Joe and the Coach double-team to explain to a high-school student disparaging shop class the many and varied uses for Industrial Arts in all aspects of modern life.
S01:E24 - A Young Man's Fancy
A story sponsored by the Edison Electric Institute that encourages use of a number of home appliances. Teenage Judy is less than excited about her brother’s visit from college until she sees that her brother is accompanied by his roommate, Alexander Phipps. Judy is attracted to Alex (he makes her feel “squishy!”), but Alex seems only interested in engineering and time study. So Judy prepares dinner all by herself, using modern household appliances and electricity to impress him.
S01:E25 - Are You Ready for Marriage?
A high school senior named Sue and her boyfriend want to get married right after Sue graduates. A marriage counselor discourages the young couple from entering into a hasty marriage.
S01:E26 - Speech: Platform Posture and Appearance
Through liberal use of the knee test, looking good and standing tall, the secrets of public speaking are revealed.
S01:E27 - Money Talks!
Having trouble saving money, a kid gets advice from Ben Franklin himself.
S01:E28 - Progress Island U.S.A
Modern Puerto Rico has a lot to offer.
S01:E29 - Once Upon a Honeymoon
A songwriter's wife, frustrated about not having sex with her husband for a year after marriage, fantasizes about new home decor with matching colored phones, with the help of a fey bespectacled angel.
S01:E30 - The Chicken of Tomorrow
We learn what is being done 'today' to create the Chicken of Tomorrow (complete with the growth process of the chicken), with a side mention of how important gas stations and oil are to the poultry industry.
S01:E31 - A Case of Spring Fever
An animated pixie named Coily grants a man his wish that all springs disappear...a wish that he soon regrets.
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