Numb Chucks

The Chucks discover that Fungus and not Dilweed is the older brother by fifteen seconds. This turns their entire world upside down and makes them question every decision they ever made, starting with watching the “Way of the Chuck”. The only way to right a wrong is by watching the video Fungus chose, “The Way of the Buck” by Woodchuck Morty.” And so… introducing the Tax Chucks!

Thanks to a strange Mayoral tradition, Buford is kissed by the Salmon of Justice and is granted a wish, thus banning kung fu in all of Ding-a-Ling Springs. When the Chucks finally snap (eight minutes later) they’re shipped off to prison where they are forced to watch a Woodchuck Morris, rehabilitation film about crochet.

Quills calls the Chucks over to Pinheads to show them her new awesome thing. But when the Chucks arrive at the alley, they’re thwarted by Flappy Joe, a giant inflatable, waving balloon who blocks their path. (He also happens to be the awesome thing she wanted to show them.) But the Chucks seem to have met their match in Joe and soon, they’re going out of their way to avoid their new bully and Pinheads altogether. Meanwhile Hooves tries to get Quills to remove that “ugly monstrosity” from the town’s skyline.

After watching a Woodchuck Morris video about harnessing your “inner luck”, the Chucks come to believe that Dilweed’s foot is lucky. Everyone he boots in the butt seems to find good luck (by sheer accident). Soon, the town is revering Dilweed’s foot and he can’t take the pressure and attention. He just wants to be rid of his cursed foot! Luckily he stumbles upon Granny Sweetcorn who happens to be in the market for a good luck charm. She’s even got a fancy band saw all ready to go. “Cut away, lady!”

Fungus has been acting extra weird lately. After Dilweed takes him to Dr. Noodle they discover he has a tape worm living inside him. A tape worm who has the ability to control Fungus – for the better. But soon, the worm, Eduardo, starts to take over and Dilweed worries he’s about to lose his brother for good.

One day at the Woodchuck Fair, Fungus accidentally has his tail flattened so much so that he looks like a beaver. And after Buford tells him he’s got beaver-itis, he’s convinced he’s turning into a beaver! With his tail constantly getting in the way and making life difficult for both he and Dilweed, Fungus decides to leave Ding-a-ling Springs to find a new home: one Beaver-ly Hills, where the beavers roam free.

The Chucks wake up from their backyard slumber to see they’re being attacked by trees! AAAHHH! As it turns out, the trees are an ultra rare species that Hooves planted 20 years ago and only bloom once in their life cycle. But the Chucks, assuming they are now at war with the trees, decide to beat them to the punch and clear cut the whole town. Problem. Solved. Except, now the birds, led by Brooklynite woodpecker, Joey Pecknut, are homeless and they take over Hooves’ house as payback.

Quills has the hiccups something fierce. Dilweed and Fungus scare them out of her, but in the process she winds up repelling all of her quills! And they wind up stuck in Dilweed! Quills has a crisis of confidence as she’s got to get her quills back. Mostly because without them her name makes no sense.

The Chucks not only accidentally ruin the biggest story of Dawn Dingledash’s career (a one-on-one with the mythical beast, Goober), but they get her fired too. With nowhere to go, she comes to live with Dilweed and Fungus and she’s the worst roommate ever! To get rid of her, they need a news story so big it’ll get Dawn her job back and through sheer stupidity, they wind up in the stomach of Goober, the legendary beast. And then so does Dawn. And then it just becomes a whole thing…

Quills saves Dilweed and Fungus’ lives which means that as per the Way of the Chuck they must now save her life. But Quills just doesn’t wind up in that many life-threatening situations. And so the Chucks decide to speed up the process by almost getting her to die so they can swoop in and save the day. (We hope.)

Fungus gets a bowling ball stuck in his throat and when Dr. Noodle fishes it out she gives him a doctor’s lollipop. It’s the most amazing thing the Chucks have ever seen, smelled, or tasted. They must have more, more, more. But the doctor says they’ve got to be sick And so the Chucks set out to make themselves super sick until they’re so sick that their snot combines to create a giant booger monster named Ick. But thanks to Ick, they now have all the lollipops they can dream of.

Dilweed and Fungus are hanging out at home when all of a sudden WOODCHUCK MORRIS SHOWS UP AT THEIR HOUSE!!! Okay, so it turns out to be a robot, RoboMorris, but still. The guys hang out with their new awesome robo pal, but soon he’s causing trouble all over town and is soiling the good name of the real Woodchuck Morris.

Dilweed and Fungus are finally going to meet their idol Woodchuck Morris at the mall. But when they get to the front of the line we see its just a mall Santa kinda guy dressed as Morris. It takes a while for it to register with the Chucks, but when they finally uncover it they’re appalled. Soon they go across the town, ridding the streets of phony Woodchuck Morris’ wherever they may be, to protect the good name of their hero

Crispin, the Mayor’s son, is having a sleepover at the Chucks’ house, but his Dad’s security detail is being overly protective and is driving him crazy. But the guys have promised him the night of his life! Meanwhile, Buford is desperate to get close to Crispin and his legendary money pillows. Buford tries to sneak in, but is thwarted at every turn, until he’s burned to such a crisp that the Chucks and Crispin assume he’s a zombie ghost.

Hooves is on a game show and the final question is about Woodchuck Morris. He calls Dilweed and Fungus for help and they obviously get the question… WRONG?! This shatters everything they think they know about life. How can they be wrong? Hooves is pretty upset too since somehow he lost his house in this. So Hooves and the Chucks have to team up to uncover a mystery that turns out to be a Quiz Show-like conspiracy to steal Hooves’ bungalow. Go figure.

Fungus gets a corn kernel stuck in his ear and four months later he’s got stalks growing out. And they’re delicious! Even adorable, famed celebrity chef, Gordon Lambsy wants the Fungus grown veggies. In fact, he wants to serve them for dinner to none other than the Woodchuck Morris! <GASP!>

Dilweed and Fungus accidentally lose Hooves’ kite and need to get it down before it flies off into space. But in the process of rescuing it, they accidentally get Quills stranded in the atmosphere, holding on to the bottom of hundreds of helium balloons. Luckily Dilweed and Fungus have a catapult and a helicopter. Now if only they can figure out how to fit the helicopter in the catapult bucket.

Way of the Chuck #52. Never. Fall. Asleep. Dilweed and Fungus try this and discover its just too difficult. Whenever they fall asleep disaster strikes. Meanwhile they’re mistaken by a mother as babysitters and soon find a toddler in their care. They “train” the little guy to be their eyes and ears when they sleep. But then he sleeps. So they’re gonna need a whole bunch of kids to train. And then? Ehn, don’t worry. It’ll work out just fine.

Buford is getting tired of having Grandma on his back all the time. So he enlists the Chucks to help him trick Hooves into going on a date with her. Except the Chucks mess up and set up Hooves on a date with Granny’s rival, Granny Sweetcorn. And wouldn’t you know it, Hooves kinda likes Sweetcorn. Which makes Grandma Butternut mad. And so she takes it out on Buford. Who takes it out on the Chucks. The Chucks of course just shrug, but now its their mess to help clean up.

Dilweed and Fungus go looking for ice and wind up finding a frozen caveman instead. The Chucks do their very best to help the poor, probably-lost fella out, but everything they do only seems to freak him out more (taking him on a rollercoaster seems like a bad idea now). But then he finds his one true love, Quills, and drags her back to his frozen homeland. Except it turns out its not Quills that he loves – but bowling!

The Chucks get the key to the city for unwittingly doing something heroic. And the key to the city is a literal key to the city! Buford wants it baaaaaad. Soon, he teams up with the new hero on the scene, the squinty, gravelly, Steven Seagull, to out hero the Chucks in an attempt to get the key for himself. What the Chucks don’t know (spoiler alert) is that it’s all a ruse and Seagull is a crummy actor, paid to trick them.

Dilweed and Fungus accidentally injure Lenny the Crossing Goose who mans the safest corner in all of Ding-a-Ling Springs. The guys feel obligated to watch it for him until he’s better. At first they’re lovable and fun, but soon the newfound power goes to their heads and they turn the town into a police state.

Dilweed and Fungus are so afraid of missing the premiere of Woodchuck Morris on Ice that they wait outside the theatre a day early – and naturally fall asleep. And when they wake up, Buford convinces them they’ve awoken 1,000 years in the future. In a world with no Woodchuck Morris. And its all their fault!

Buford is accused of stealing the Salmon of Justice and is put on trial for fishnappin’. The Chucks, convinced of his innocence and eager to wear suspenders, offer to be his lawyers and show the court that Buford couldn’t have possibly done that thing that people say he did. Oh, what’s that? Steal the salmon of justice? Yeah, he probably did that.

The Chucks finally push Buford too far and he loses it! After doing Beautiful Mind-like calculations, he comes up with the greatest insult name ever – the Numbsicles! And the Chucks… LOVE IT! “Woo hoo, we’re the Numbsicles!” in fact, everyone loves it and soon Quills is hawking Numbsicles merch everywhere. Buford is so mad he’s left with no choice, but to give up and join the Numbsicles. And that’s when the real Numbsicle, a Bane-like rhino, shows up to pound on whoever’s been abusing his good name.

Fungus puts on Grandma Butternut’s glasses and they make him a genius. The Chucks assume the glasses must be magic. But smart-making glasses are the kind of thing that bring bad guys out of the woodwork and now there’s real genius-level trouble brewing.

Weird Russian bears show up at Pinheads and start asking all kinds of strange questions. The Chucks assume they’re circus bears and they want to join them on the road, but soon we learn Quills is not who she says she is. Or at least, who she was. Seems trouble is afoot.

Dilweed and Fungus go to a taping of their favourite show, the “Winky the Mole Show”, but they accidentally wander onto set and become stars on live TV. Soon they’re sharing the stage with Winky until eventually they’ve not only replaced him, but they’ve taken over every channel. But the Chucks are bummed. They want Winky the Mole back! Too bad Winky doesn’t want to fart on TV anymore.

Hooves pretends to be Woodchuck Morris in an attempt to keep the Chucks away from what he hopes is his prize winning gourd. But then Buford gets a similar idea and Dilweed and Fungus are pulling in every direction thanks to endless calls from their “hero.”

Buford, in an effort not to embarrass himself in front of his LARPing friends, pretends not to know the Chucks. Naturally they assume he must have amnesia. So they set out to whack him in the head and get him right again which of course gives him amnesia. But new Buford is a pretty great guy. So now no one really wants him to change back.

Ding-a-ling Springs is rated the worst town in the world. Dilweed and Fungus are mortified and worried they’re insulting the legacy of Woodchuck Morris (who was born in said crummy town). So they set out to make it better and along the way amass a gigantic pile of cash. Which they use to spend on everyone in town, hoping to make them happier. But of course it only makes things worse. So now they need to take everything back to hopefully re-set the world order.

The chucks notice Hooves sneaking off one night and decide to follow. I mean, where can he be going? It’s not like he has friends. And yet he does. Hooves is hanging out with his Moose friends in a private club. And so the Chucks go undercover as Moose to try and figure out what dastardly plan the club has. Except Hooves catches them and says of course they don’t. But then the club leader interrupts, “Actually…”

Thanks to Dilweed and Fungus’ idiocy, everyone is stranded on a deserted island. But soon, Buford splits off and two rival camps emerge. And all the while, a tribe of shrunken head ninjas lurk in the trees. Y’know, maybe. It could just be a lost Hooves.

The Chucks float lost at sea until they meet a kindly Kraken who takes them back to its lair (to eat them, but they clearly don’t know that.) But soon they also meet the angry pirate who’s been on the tail of his Moby Dick, the very same Kraken who has a taste for bros with popped collars (and apparently woodchucks).

It’s Groundhog’s Day in the midst of the worst winter ever. But when Reginald the town groundhog sees his shadow, the Chucks set out to win over the town with tomorrow’s even better Woodchuck Day, where they guarantee they won’t see their shadows. So when they do, they’re left with no choice: destroy the sun!

Dilweed accidentally gets all sorts of electrical stuff stuck to him with glue and it convinces Fungus he must be the Verminator, a robot woodchuck sent from the future to destroy him or something. And once he’s cast aside by society, Dilweed retreats to the dump where he eventually leads a robot army on the town.

Dilweed and Fungus attack and injure an intruder – who just happens to be Santa Claus!

In order to stoke some Christmas cheer, Dilweed and Fungus go tree shopping.

Woodchuck Morris wins and award at the Kung Fuees and thanks… Granny Sweetcorn! He not only thanks her, but says he owes her everything. Naturally, now the chucks want to know what’s so special about Sweetcorn and they’re all up in her grill and she’s only humoring them to get at Grandma Butternut’s secret weapon. Whatever that is.

<WHISTLING> The Mayor waltzes along the street and plops a random stop sign right in front of their house. So suddenly they’ve got cars stopped outside all day long. And no one is happy about it. Except of course the Chucks who see this as their opportunity to Chuck it Forward by doing good deeds! Soon, they go from a roadside truck stop, to turning their house into a drive thru car wash, to a full on waterpark. It’s all pretty great until they exhaust the town’s water supply.

While re-creating the “Woodchuck Morris Walk to Get Milk”, Fungus breaks every bone in his body, leaving him in a cast for months. All he can use now is his tongue. But soon, his tongue is the one thing that can save his brother from being squished under a steam roller.

Dilweed and Fungus go see Woodchuck Morris’ new action flick, “Gum Fu Hustle.” Later, while imitating some of the moves, they inadvertently get themselves stuck together with chewing gum. Meanwhile, they’re so concerned about the gum in their fur that they never notice the entire town is in a blind panic over an impending meteor colliding with the town.

Quills needs to renew the pin license for Pinheads or they’re going to shut her down. The problem is the only way to get to the office is by plane and well, Quills reveals that she is afraid of flying! The Chucks laugh hysterically, “Who is afraid of a fly?” But once the truth is explained to them, they vow to help their friend overcome her fear. Even if it means all three of them going down in a fiery crash. Uh, guys…?

Buford has injured his hand so Dilweed and Fungus accompany him to the doctor’s office. But in the waiting room, Dilweed inadvertently chops the patients and heals them. Dr. Noodle proclaims he has healing chops! And even better, Dilweed can take over for her as she goes on vacation. Woo hoo! But uh, who is gonna heal Buford?

Dilweed and Fungus never opened their mail and so they never received a notice that their cable is out. So while trying to rejig their antenna, using Hooves’ antlers no less, they inadvertently pick up a strange TV show about two dimwit aardvarks that seems to be eerily based on their lives.

Dilweed and Fungus discover that Smackdown Stu, the man who took a million Woodchuck Morris chops to the face, lives right here in Ding-a-ling Springs! Except when they find him, he wants no part of the kung fu game anymore. He’s into yoga and meditation. Poor guy. So the chucks set out to set him straight by showing him punching and kicking, and not peace and serenity, are the answers to the universe.

Buford just wants to play video game in peace but the Chucks keep interrupting. So Buford goes to the police to say he’s witnessed a crime and needs to be put in witness protection. The Police Chief obliges and puts Buford in the care of – Dilweed and Fungus! <SCREAM>

Dilweed and Fungus bury their keys, but they can’t remember where. So they dig. And dig. And dig. Soon they’re at the bottom of a massive hole and the entire town assumes they’re trapped. The Chucks become a media sensation as even Woodchuck Morris joins in the telethon to “Save the Chucks.”

Dilweed and Fungus enter a strongman competition, but lose badly. And no, not to Buddy who is desperate to win, but to a spork! So Dilweed and Fungus must get stronger. And stronger. Until soon, thanks to their Woodchuck Morris workout machine, they’ve bulked up so much that they’ve become muscly menaces to society.

Dilweed and Fungus accidentally destroy Buford’s extremely rare and nerdy comic book artifact. And so he yells and screams at them so much that he literally runs out of spit! Dr. Noodle tells the Chucks they need to find him a suitable donor or else! She’s not sure what the “or else” is, but she assumes its kind of bad.

Dr. Noodle runs some tests and we learn that Buford’s only known spit donor match is none other than Woodchuck Morris! So the Chucks head out in search of their hero. But when they find him, they discover he’s more interested in doing totally awesome things than save Buford. The Chucks are torn like they’ve never been before, forced to choose between their idol and bestest friend. What’s a chuck to do?