America's Dumbest Criminals

Witness joy-riding teenagers desperately in need of driver's education and some best-dressed burglars.

Witness a criminal getting more evil than Knievel, an insider theft of diamonds big enough to choke on and a relentless battle of man vs. machine.

Witness a small town getting terrorized by a big pig, a hard-hitting reminder of why should always wear a helmet and a flare-up at a funeral home.

Witness a home exterminator ridding a house of valuables and a camera catching a burglar literally breaking and then entering.

Witness two rookie robbers starting a life of crime, a lady who holds a full mink coat in her stretch pants and a liquor store robber.

Witness a criminal you might mistake for an action star, a man caught in the women’s restroom and a guy looking to meet girls by breaking into cars.

Witness some serious squirrel coaxing, an ATM that became an ATV and a man who hopes no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Witness a huge divide of loot, a group of officers that make criminals sing for their supper and a clever way to break into a store.

Witness a "Peeping Tom" get protective over his territory, a drunk driver who ends up high and dry and a man wired on more than nicotine.

Witness a man who broke into a van and got more than he bargained for and a robber who could use a pale and shovel for his disguise.

Witness a parrot that might really be a stool pigeon, some teenagers out in the middle of the night and the world’s slowest car chase.

Witness a half-baked attempt to steal a bread truck, a major appliance that stops a crook cold and much more.

Witness someone trying to make their mark, a proud pot grower and someone who skimps on the expense of a full-time getaway driver.

Witness a crook sliding on thin ice before a major slip-up, a wakeup call for criminals to select a new career and much more.

Witness a guy choosing a strange way to make up with his girlfriend, the underestimated crime-fighting force of meter maids and much more.

Witness a few criminals who try to escape Santa-style, a cab driver who gets the best of a passenger and a man who should have just called a ride.

Witness a pup with some pot whose owners get collared, law enforcement’s cool new invention and a thief with a flood of problems.

Witness a case of picture-perfect stupidity, a duct-dwelling criminal venting his anger and a dope who’s two time zones from his destination.

Witness a criminal who missed his exit by a long shot, a criminal-tagging pizza boomerang and some misguided fellows who turn themselves in.

Witness a getaway plan based on running in a circle, a silly crook whose magic trick earns him the name "Houdumbi" and a blockhead in a cell.

Witness a toilet-bound sector of society, a man in his birthday suit and the saucy saga of a man saved by a grocery item.

Witness a mailman hungry for birthday cards, a man intoxicated by his molotov cocktail and a canine officer with an amazing story.

Witness a couple getting more than their belongings back, a cop that helps a criminal with his pants and a man who can’t recall his night.

Witness a criminal with a handful of dynamite, a crook getting familiar with license plates before jail and a surefire accident waiting to happen.

Witness a robber counting cash while a waitress counts sheep, some guys who would rather not wait for a sale and much more.