America's Dumbest Criminals

Meet delinquents that think they're "Out of the Frying Pan," "Towing Nowhere Fast," one who is a "Starving Stooge," and a total “incompentent.”

Meet offenders with nicknames like "Keyless Klutz," "Bad Liver Lady," "Cheap Trick" and "Stash Flash."

These culprits will "Dial-A-Narc," remind us "You Only Live Vice," discover "Scales on the Roof" and go "Out on a Limb."

These offenders use "Asinine Alibis," try on "Santa Clogs," reveal that they're a "Swinging Single" and remind you "Diamonds are a Kid's Best Friend."

These culprits try to get away with a "Stuffed Turkey" and "Swamp Things," and someone will be a "Taunting Car Robber.”

Witness delinquents "Courting Trouble," ones who "Batter Up," start "Dumbin' in the Rough" and another who becomes a "Restaurant Roof Clown."

Witness the "Bottled Up Robber" and a "Fumigation Burglar." Later, we'll experience a "Rocky Mountain High."

These idiots will get "Shell Shocked," attempt the "Swipe and Wipe" and experience "Heist Anxiety." Later, we'll witness the "Rice Man Cometh."

These delinquents will attempt a "Crate Escape," show off their "Bad News Boobs," try on their "Gotta Be the Shoes" and then make a "Pit Stop."

These offenders will be "Caught Off Guard," experience the "Squirrel Nut Speeder," and realize they're "Not Out of the Woods.”

Witness idiots get "Easy Offed," notice someone "Flew the Coop," meet "Helena Handbag" and get the "Door Jammed."

We understand "The Boulder, The Stupider," see the "Moon Over First Fed," learn how "Brothers Cool Off" and experience the "Road Flasher."

Someone gets "Helping Hands," a criminal gets a "Walked Dog, Curbed Brain," we witness "Chasing Lamey" and another struggles with "Shorts of Breath."

See someone get "Lights, Camera, Busted," witness "A Gutsy Gal Applying Herself," and see a criminal get "All Dressed Up.”

laugh at "Roller Bullies, a "Motorhome Madman," the "Breaking of a Habit" and an instance of "Monkey Not See, Monkey Do."

A dumb driver hands over more than his license, newlyweds get a surprise gift, rookie robbers make a bad first impression.

A soggy suspect leaves a sopping trail for the cops, a shifty shopper checks out with more than his receipt, a casual crook makes a fashion faux pas.

These bozos toss more than their cookies in this high-speed chase, and a suspect picks the wrong day to film home movies.

A chilly willy strikes a pose, a peculiar pinhead poaches a puppy, and a sticky-fingered felon gets his day in court.

A couple of kids have a counter fit, a man enjoys his room with a view, cops play follow-the-loser and a woman shares her arts and crafts secrets.

A drunk does some local landscaping, a crook takes an unusual pit stop, a burglar dresses for success and a suspect has the last word.

A man adds more than sugar to his coffee, a yuletide burglar gets caught with his pants down, a loser picks the wrong place to light up.

A hoodlum picks the wrong clerk to hold up, an arguing couple lets a cop settle their differences, and a bank robber gets robbed himself.

A crook packs his bags and runs for it, a kid does a moronic Macarena on a friend's car, and a senior expresses his feelings for a local store.

A careless criminal stuffs the wrong crustacean in his pants, and a parachutist has some technical difficulties.