America's Dumbest Criminals

Witness a man wearing a useless disguise, a criminal who forgot to bring a gun to a shootout and a thief who put an antique knife in his pocket.

Witness the reason for all those missing office supplies, a man who thinks he’s the target of a 21-gun salute and a joker whose trash is a trail.

Witness a fella whose sense of judgment goes up in smoke, a guy on the run who called 911 to check if he has any warrants and a tricky officer.

Witness a cabbie whose meter is running unlike his mind, the reason we’re taught not to play with fire extinguishers and bandits ordering to-go.

Witness a crook that enters a car dealership unannounced and the back-breaking burden of stealing $3,000 in coins.

Witness a police search that gets hotter as the criminal gets colder and a drunk driver who wakes to a real nightmare.

Witness misbehaving crack customers, a bunch of guys that want electronics for nothing and some dummies with a dummy — but who’s dumber?

Witness what it takes to steal a car from police lock-up, a runaway cyclist who hits the spin cycle and a costumed bail bondsman.

Witness the mark of a fender bender, a ton of trouble when a tailgate hits the road and a strange pickup on a surveillance video.

Witness the difference between a leap of faith and taking a dive and some funny business happening right under someone’s nose.

Witness a man who brings dynamite instead of flowers, a suspect conducting his own strip-search and drunk drivers keeping physically fit.

Witness whether it’s possible to do the right thing by making the wrong turn, a lifelike store mannequin and a sign of trouble for a sneaky criminal.

Witness some runaway teenagers who don’t know when to quit, a whacked-out clown who belongs in the circus and a shifty defendant.

Witness an inmate in a hurry, some sticky-fingered donut thieves and more.

Witness thieves who got a car only to discover that the car has got them, a man under pressure about some blood and a fulfilled wish about the bank.

Witness the consumption of alcohol making a person more sophisticated and how far a canine officer will go to catch a criminal running wild.

Witness a convenience store counter spontaneously become a fireworks stand, and the true pride of ownership from a crackpot with a crack pipe.

Witness a suspect having his privacy invaded, the theft of a patrol car and a man making his way out of the frying pan and into the swamp.

Witness a bright mind throwing money like confetti, a robber new to the world of handgun safety and a thief who supposedly escaped without a trace.

Witness a woman who definitely doesn’t like her chain yanked, some suspects who find themselves tailed by dogs and a stuffed Dalmatian doll.

Witness a cleaning lady who picks up too much, a stop sign that can rob you of a social life and the gal with whom you don’t want to share a ride.

Witness an inmate who isn’t getting out on good behavior, a joker who isn't quite Julia Child and some pot-smoking workmen.

Witness some sailors out for a good time who quickly begin to sink, a surprise for a car thief and much more.

Witness how a dog’s “evidence” helped take down a bike thief, and how waiving the right to remain silent can be like waving farewell.

Witness a criminal who regrets tackling a safe, a macho man with some explaining to do and much more.