America's Dumbest Criminals

Witness a guy who graduated from the school of hard knocks, a chef with a recipe for arrest and a drug bust with a twist.

Witness some pretty funky footwork, a drive-by surprise and a mighty fall from grace.

Witness a girlfriend who bails out her beau, frightening footage with a happy ending and the dumbest DUI excuse ever made.

Witness a criminal who falls asleep just behind the wheel, actual footage of dumb criminals on ice and a case we call "All Spruced Up."

Witness the crook caught by the cop without a kickstand, surveillance cam footage we call "Stuff Yourself" and a blackjack player who takes a hit.

Witness a bank robber who didn't have a car or a brain, a dumb criminal who gets a special delivery and a dumb criminal who learns about gravity.

Witness a fool and his jewels, a crime that was not well done and three light weights with a heavy load.

Witness a social climber who's falling fast, a cat's stolen whiskers and a major incident with a miniature reenactment.

Witness a break in at the wrong house, a panty plucker who has to pay the piper and a dumb criminal who almost got away.

Witness a 10-year cab ride, a dumb criminal who uses his head and a crook who has a very bad payday.

Witness a D.U.I. with a W.I.F.E., a comically disabled criminal and a traffic temper that goes wrong.

Witness a flasher who falls asleep on the job, a shoplifting film fest and a drug deal that goes wrong, then goes right.

Witness some dopers who are a little too hospitable, a jewelry store full of dumb criminals and a crook who is disarmed and dangerous.

Witness a drunk driver take more than he bargained for, surveillance footage from the convenience store from hell and a glad bag that turned sad.

Witness a dumb criminal who can hide but he can't run, a guy who gets put on the beat cycle at the laundromat and the Houdini of dumb crime.

Witness a bandit with a beer box for a brain, surveillance footage of the shortest work day in history and a dumb criminal who cashed and burned.

Witness two criminals who absolutely never met, surveillance camera footage of a new dance step and a dramatic dumb criminal drumroll.

Witness a little old lady from Pasadena tell her secret, an inside look at dumb criminals with X-ray footage and purse snatchers.

Witness two dumb criminals with short-term memory, surveillance footage of two women dressed for arrest and a crime that's all in the family.

Witness a drunk driver with a lame excuse, surveillance camera footage of a real break-in and "aloha" to a crapshooter.

Witness the dumb criminal who just couldn't blend in, surveillance camera footage of a bro in a bra and some dumb criminals who deconstruct.

Witness a dumb criminal who thinks he's lucky, actual footage of a sting you won't believe and a rat who gets caught in his own trap.

Witness an unbelievably cooperative criminal, surveillance footage of a casino full of dumb criminals and some crooks who have serious car troubles.

Witness a man who was driving under the influence of Elvis, a high-speed chase in a camouflaged car and a petty thief who meets the caped crusader.

Witness a dumb criminal with real bad luck, surveillance cam footage of a man pilfering pork chops and a dumb criminal who was just faking it.